Title: When I Look At You (I’ve Got A Second Chance)
Author:
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
itsthedetailsArtist Credit:
causetteGenre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Other Pairings: Jared/OFC, Jensen/OFC, Jared/OMC and Jensen/Sophia
Characters: Mike, Tom, Chad and Sophia
Rating/Warning: NC-17 (language and sexual situations)
Word Count: 26,674
Summary: Jared and Jensen meet at camp as teenagers, spending one summer together falling in love, but when the summer ends unforeseen events lead them to be separated. Four years later fate reunites them in college. Will all the obstacles in their path keep them from finding love with each other once again?
Disclaimer: The boys are not mine no matter how much I wish they were.
causetteJared stares out the window of his mother’s minivan, the scenery a blur of color as it speeds past. He’s trying to block out his parents’ happy chatter and concentrate on his sulking, but it isn’t working. He doesn’t want to go to camp, he doesn’t want to leave his friends for the entire summer, he doesn’t want to be in another place where he’s known as Jeff’s little brother.
“Jared—Jared, honey, we’re almost there. Stop moping and look how pretty it is here.”
Jared looks at his mother from his seat in the very back of the minivan. “Maaaaaa, I told you, it’s JT.”
Sherri Padalecki smiles appeasingly at her youngest son. “Okay, JT, stop sulking and move up here so I don’t have to shout.”
Jared rolls his eyes, knowing his mother is only placating him, but he’d rather avoid another argument here in the car. There aren’t many of his belongings in the car, just his backpack and an overly-stuffed duffle bag; everything else was sent in his footlocker last week. Reluctantly, he climbs over the bags and moves to the middle bench seat.
His mother pats him on the knee before twisting back to face the road ahead of them. “You’ll see, JT, you’re gonna love camp. Jeffy, loved coming here when he was your age. He made great friends, just like you will.”
JT continues to stare at his feet, refusing to acknowledge her statement. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go to soccer camp. He loves soccer, but all his friends are going to be back in San Antonio this summer without him. Lisa Wilkins, the girl he’d had a crush on all of last year, finally decided to speak to him the last few weeks of school, just in time for him to tell her he’d be gone the whole summer, hours away in Dallas, to play soccer. JT groans at the thought of all he will be missing.
The car slows as they make a turn off the highway and pull into Elite Athletes Sports Camp’s state-of-the-art sports complex. Soccer and lacrosse fields lay to the right, a football stadium to the left, and straight ahead are several large buildings housing basketball courts, tennis courts, an ice rink, an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a weight training facility. Beyond that, there are field hockey fields and baseball and softball diamonds. EASC is the camp to attend if you have any sort of athletic aspirations. Jeff had come here to play football for four years and by the time he was a senior in high school he’d been a star running back. A scout from Notre Dame had even come to see him play.
Jerry Padalecki is so proud, his oldest boy following in his own footsteps, getting a football scholarship to A&M.
JT is supposed to follow in his big brother’s footsteps, except he just isn’t built for football. He is short, much shorter than the rest of his friends and has a lean build. Everyone keeps telling him that he’ll hit his growth spurt and shoot up, but he hasn’t budged a centimeter over five feet four inches yet. He is quick and his diminutive stature helps him dart between the other players, so football is foregone and soccer becomes JT’s sport.
As they pull into busy parking lot, JT looks around at all of the other kids in various states of unloading. He wonders if any of them will become as good of a friend as his best friend back home, Chad. Chad gets to stay home this summer and lounge at the community pool, hang at the mall, go to parties. He sighs again, it just isn’t fair.
A camp counselor greets them enthusiastically before they even get the hatch of the van open. “Hi! I’m Rob, assistant baseball coach. Welcome to EASC, where stars are born. Name?”
JT looks at his father, silently asking him, ‘this is who you expect me to spend my summer with?’ His father shoots him a look that quells any impulse to say something sarcastic. “Jared Padalecki, but call me JT.”
The counselor scans down his clipboard and places a mark on his list. “Okay, you’re in Building C. Dorms are down that path behind the football field. Stop in the lobby to get your room assignment, key and orientation schedule. If you shipped anything in advance, it should be in your room when you get there.”
Mr. Padalecki smiles and shakes Rob’s hand. “Thanks, we know the drill. My older son was here for four years.”
Rob nods, “Oh, then this is old hat for you.” He points to a dirt path. “Just down that way then, I’ll see you at the opening ceremony tonight, JT.”
JT gives a half-assed wave and follows his parents toward the dorms.
His father is going on and on about the weight training facility and how if JT works hard this summer he could easily build a good ten to fifteen pounds of muscle, bulk up a bit. JT tunes him out as he notices a group of girls lounging outside of Building A, they’ve all got field hockey sticks resting across their laps. He smiles at a blond girl with a long ponytail and thinks to himself, maybe camp won’t be that horrible.
The Padalecki’s make their way to Building C, a fairly new three-story dormitory. After a stop in the lobby to get JT’s packet, they trudge up the stairs to the second floor, past other parents lugging boxes and bags and kids dashing by, yelling out to old friends.
When they reach JT’s room, his new roommate, Mark is already there with his parents. Introductions are made: Mark’s from Austin and even though he’s only going to be a sophomore this coming school year, he’s already the varsity goalie on his soccer team. He was in the middle of hanging a poster of the Brazilian national soccer team when they came in, so he climbs back up to stand on his lofted bed while JT opens his footlocker.
He starts unloading shorts, t-shirts and other clothing, when he notices Mark’s got three soccer balls stashed under his bed. He panics for a minute, because he didn’t bring a ball. He thought the camp would provide stuff like that. His parents are shelling out enough money for him to be here, they better have all sorts of equipment. His mother notices him staring, and like all mothers she knows exactly what her son is thinking. Like magic, she pulls a shopping bag from behind her that she’s managed to sneak past JT and hands him a brand new soccer ball.
He looks to his mother, a genuine smile on his face, as he opens the cardboard box and pulls out the shiny new ball. She reaches over and ruffles his newly shorn hair and whispers, “Just give it a try, Jare…JT. And if you really, really hate it after a few weeks, you can come home.”
JT nods his head. He knows his mother would never make him stay if he was truly miserable, but he also knows that he won’t be miserable. He just doesn’t want to be separated from his friends for the entire summer.
They unpack the rest of his things, take the tour of all the facilities and meet with the soccer coaches for a brief overview of the program. Finally, just before dinner time, all the parents are required to leave.
His mother gets a little teary, but he hugs her tight and promises to call and write. He gets a slap on the back from his father and some extra cash is discreetly slipped into his hand. He knows his father means well, thinks playing on a sports team is good for a boy; JT just would rather play sports a little closer to home. Before he realizes it, his parents are gone and JT is left in his room with his new roommate. They have their door propped open and are listening to one of Mark’s CDs when a small white rubber ball comes shooting into the room, bouncing off the walls, before rolling to a stop at JT’s feet.
JT and Mark share a puzzled look and before either can move off their beds, a tall boy with sparkling green eyes and freckles dotting his face appears in the doorway. “Sorry, it got away from me.” The boy has a lacrosse stick in his hands, and he flicks one end down and scoops up the ball. He then flips the stick to rest against his shoulder and holds out his hand. “I’m Jensen, your neighbor from across the hall.”
The fair-haired boy has a sweet lilt of an accent and JT instantly wants to be friends with this guy. He slides from his bed and takes Jensen’s outstretched hand. “I’m JT, and this here is Mark.”
They stand awkwardly for a few moments until Jensen gestures around the room. “I’m guessing from all the soccer balls you two are here for tennis camp.”
JT cracks a broad smile, “Yes—yes we use the soccer balls, ‘cause they’re so much easier to hit than those little tennis balls, you know? Makes acing much easier.”
Jensen laughs deep and rich. He plops down on JT’s bed, starts’ flipping through the CDs JT is putting away, and just like that JT has made a new friend. Mark and JT walk to dinner with Jensen and his roommate Danny. Jensen is so easygoing and welcoming that JT doesn’t once think about what he might be missing back home. Jensen includes them with his friends at the Welcome to Camp party. Since this will be Jensen’s third summer at EASC, he knows lots of people.
Jensen points out which counselors are laid back, and which ones to steer clear of. He tells JT how to scam extra dessert from the dining hall and how easy it is to sneak into the girls dorms. While the camp director drones on about rules and regulations, Jensen points to a tall girl with short black hair, Kelly. He tells JT that he and Kelly dated last summer and that ever since he got here this morning she’s been trying to get him alone. Pitching his voice even lower, Jensen tells him how Kelly would blow him in the dugout at the softball field while the rest of their friends were hanging out by the dining hall, looking for a late night snack. With a wicked grin, Jensen says he just might have to let her get him alone tonight.
JT stares across the field at the dark-haired girl. He had no idea that camp would be like this. The brochure talked about training and learning, and Jeff never really mentioned the girls. He always talked about how awesome the weight room was and how much he learned about plays and strategy.
JT smiles back at Jensen, thinking that maybe camp won’t be so bad after all.
***
The next morning, just as JT is finished getting dressed, there is a sharp knock at his door. He opens it to find Jensen grinning brightly. “Come on, we’ve got to get to the dining hall early before the food gets all soggy and gross from sitting under those big heat lights.”
He doesn’t give JT a chance to answer; Jensen just grabs his arm and drags. They join the sea of bodies heading toward the dining hall and are pulled along by the crowd. Over breakfast, JT chats easily, telling Jensen about his family; about how Jeff had come here for football and that his little sister is off at cheerleading camp for the summer. The boys are surprised at how much they have in common, both having an older brother and a younger sister, both middle children.
JT tells Jensen about Chad and Lisa and how they’ll all be starting their freshmen year in the fall. Jensen tells JT he’ll be a junior in the fall. With a teasing glint in his eye he says he is looking forward to lording his upperclassmen status over the freshmen and sophomores. JT is thinking that Jensen is surely older than 16 and that he’s a senior camper taking the newbie under his wing. Their age difference seems glaringly obvious; maybe because at 6’ 1” Jensen is like a giant, towering over JT. However, Jensen hasn’t treated JT like a little kid at all, even though he won’t turn 14 for two more weeks.
After breakfast, Jensen has to run back to the dorm to get his lacrosse stick and other gear, but he tells JT to wait by the flagpole between the soccer and lacrosse fields and they’ll go to lunch together. They part ways and JT happily goes off to his first practice.
***
It is a long morning for JT. They start off with drills, a lot of them. They run and run and run some more. They volley the ball while they run. They practice footwork. They do suicide drills back and forth across the field. Just when JT thinks he can’t take it anymore, the coaches have them break for the morning.
All morning, the coaches watched as they maneuvered the ball, did endurance drills, were asked to block and steal the ball from each other and now they were using those observations to assign all the players to teams. With so many kids and so many different ability levels, it is easier to break them into teams. They’ll work out with their team, scrimmage against the other teams, ending the summer with a playoff tournament. The winning team will get the EASC trophy and bragging rights for the next summer.
Last summer, the Blue Devils won the trophy. But most of the guys on that team had been older campers and many of then had moved on to college. This summer would be a whole new ballgame, with the trophy truly up for grabs. The coaches say the teams are divided up evenly but historically the most “elite” athletes are assigned to certain teams.
JT is sure he’ll be on one of the lower level teams. He is after all only thirteen and he’s never really played organized soccer before. There are kids here that have been playing since they were given their first pair of baby Nikes, so JT’s hope of being on an upper-level team is small. As the group sits listening to the coaches rattle off names, he isn’t surprised to hear the first team is occupied by a roster of fourth-year campers. The second team roster is announced. JT leans back, not really paying attention, figuring his name won’t be called for a while. Halfway through the third team roster, Mark shoves him in the ribs a grin wide on his face and holding up a palm. “Congrats, man!”
JT gives him a perplexed look.
Mark, still grinning, points to the coach. “Dude, he called your name.”
Shock plays across JT’s face. He can’t believe that he’s been placed on one of the higher level teams. He stumbles toward the front, and receives his red pinney. He sits with the red team members; he’s surrounded by guys that are mostly 15 and 16 years old. He hopes he won’t screw up too badly and make these guys hate him.
***
JT stands by the flagpole, still sweaty from the combination of running all morning and the midday heat. He’s glad he decided to buzz his hair before coming to camp. It’s definitely cooler than his normal heavy mop sticking to his neck. Mark rushes by, his green jersey in hand, having been placed on the fourth team roster, and waves before running to catch up to the rest of his team.
He’s not waiting long before Jensen jogs up, eyes flashing brightly. “Hey, sorry I made you wait. I had to stash my gear.”
JT can’t help but smile as Jensen leans over to catch his breath. “It’s cool. I haven’t been waiting long.”
Jensen nods to the jersey in JT’s hands, “So you’re on the red team? What did you guys name yourselves?” Jensen, himself, is holding a gold jersey. The coaches run the same structured program across all the team sports at the camp.
JT fingers the jersey, still in disbelief about the team he’s on. “I don’t really have much say. I got placed on a team with a bunch of older guys. So they picked, and we’re the Red Blaze.”
Jensen knocks into him as they walk, “Older guys? Which ones?”
JT rattles off some of the names he remembers.
“I know Nate and John. They’re really good.” Jensen punches him lightly on the shoulder. “You didn’t tell me you were such a superstar, Shorty.”
JT shrugs his shoulders embarrassed, “I’m really not. I think they just didn’t want it to look like they were putting all the good players on one team and all the inexperienced ones on another.” He pauses and then gives Jensen a good shove. “And don’t call me Shorty. I’m gonna hit my growth spurt any day now.”
Jensen chuckles, “That’s your momma talking. And don’t sell yourself short, they wouldn’t have put you on the team if they didn’t think you could keep up, Shorty.” He laughs heartily and takes off running when JT tries to shove him again.
***
JT makes it through the first week, but it feels like every muscle in his body aches. He’s run more in the last five days than he thinks he has in his whole life. He’s lying on his bed Saturday afternoon trying not to move at all, when Jensen appears in his doorway.
He saunters in and plops down on Mark’s bed. “Where’s the roomie?”
JT turns his head ever so carefully. “He went off with his teammates to go swimming and stare at the girls from the tennis team in their bathing suits.”
Jensen’s lying on his back, tossing his lacrosse ball up and down. “You didn’t want to go too?”
JT slowly sits up, feeling the tension in his thighs and calves, and shrugs. “Eh—I didn’t want to intrude on him and his team. He says they’re ‘bonding.’”
Jensen tosses the white rubber ball to JT. “Good—cause you’re coming with me.”
***
JT follows Jensen from the dorms up to the parking lot where a group of campers are milling around a shuttle. The bus runs a loop every hour to the little town up the road until the hour before dinner on the weekends. Jensen says that there is a movie theater, an arcade, an ice cream shop, as well as a bunch of other shops along the town’s main drag.
When they climb out of the bus in town, a group of older campers calls Jensen over. JT recognizes a few of them from his soccer team and waves, shyly. They join the group as they wander down Main Street, popping into the air conditioned stores along the way to cool off. Finally, the group piles into the ice cream parlor at the end of the drag.
They push into a large booth, the cute blond girl JT recognizes from the field hockey team is pressed to his left and Jensen is on his right. They order and chat loud and boisterously, enjoying the day off. The blond girl, Katie, talks animatedly, giggling to the girl sitting opposite them. Jensen keeps nudging JT closer to her and JT keeps pushing back.
Katie’s hand brushes against JT’s leg when her napkin slides off her lap, and it finally hits JT why Jensen is pushing him practically into Katie’s lap. JT can feel a hot flush rise on his cheeks as his gaze slips toward Katie. He drops his eyes quickly when he finds her gaze pinned to him. He can feel Jensen watching; feel his sharp green eyes tracking JT’s every move.
JT breathes out slowly and twists under the table to retrieve Katie’s napkin. He meets her eyes and their fingers brush when he returns it. “I think you dropped this.” Katie smiles brightly at him, her brown eyes shining.
***
During the following week, JT eats all his meals with Jensen, Katie and their friends. He and Jensen still walk to breakfast and lunch together, but after dinner, instead of kicking around his soccer ball or tossing the lacrosse ball, Jensen takes off with Tara, a new camper this year, and JT hangs out with Katie.
They walk in the cool night air, talking about their respective schools and families, but as nice as Katie is, JT already misses hanging out with Jensen.
JT knows Jensen is sneaking into his room past lights out and while Jensen never says anything specific, by the way he wiggles his eyebrows and grins, JT can guess what he’s doing after curfew.
One night on his way to meet Katie in front her dorm, he spots a dim light at the edge of the clearing near one of the baseball diamonds. He detours toward the trees and quietly walks along the edge until he hears a familiar voice. He tries to figure a way to get past them without being noticed when he hears a muffled moan that draws him closer.
He can’t help himself—he peeks around the tree he’s hiding behind to see Jensen and Tara lying on a blanket hidden by a few large trees and bushes. Jensen’s got his hand under Tara’s shirt and they are locked at the lips.
He makes himself as small as possible as they break their kiss and Jensen moans again. JT can see now that Tara’s got Jensen’s jeans open and a hand down the front. JT gasps and finds himself hardening. He leans back against the tree and takes a few deep breaths before backtracking the way he came, circling around the baseball diamond to get to Katie’s dorm.
By the time he meets her he’s calmed down, but he can’t stop picturing Jensen, head thrown back, moonlight highlighting the line of his throat, breathy sounds falling from his lips, pants open. Katie smiles cheerfully at him and takes his hand. JT steers them in the opposite direction he came from and they wind up sitting on the far side of the football stadium. Katie’s chatting happily, but JT is only half paying attention until he realizes he’s imagining what it would be like to have Katie’s hand down his pants. He’s thinking about her small delicate hand, until the hand he’s picturing isn’t so small and delicate anymore. The fantasy turns and JT is picturing Jensen pressed close against him, rough hands pushing at his clothes, pink tongue licking at his throat.
JT jumps at the solid weight of a hand on his arm. Katie is staring at him, concern in her soft brown eyes. “Are you alright? You didn’t answer me and you’re breathing funny.”
JT shifts to hide the bulge in his jeans and tries to think of an explanation. Finally, he realizes he’s staring at Katie’s pink lips. He lifts his eyes to meet hers. “I was thinking of doing this.” He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to her mouth.
Katie’s lips are soft, exactly how he’d imagined they’d be. They explore the kiss, lips moving tentatively, until JT hesitantly swipes his tongue against Katie’s lower lip. He thinks he did something wrong when she pulls away, but when he meets her gaze, she’s smiling. “I’ve been waiting all week for you to do that.” Her smile widens and she leans in again.
JT experimentally swirls his tongue against Katie’s, tasting peppermint ice cream from tonight’s dessert. Carefully, he presses forward so they’re lying in the soft grass. He’s got one hand tangled in her long hair and the other resting softly on her hip. He’s concentrating on how sweet her kiss is when he flashes to Jensen’s mouth, Jensen's body arched in the dimness of the woods. He gasps into Katie’s mouth and jerks forward, pressing his body firmly to hers.
The softness of her body contrasts to his mental image of Jensen’s firm muscles. What’s in his head is warring with what he’s feeling under his fingertips and it gets to be too much. He shouldn’t be thinking about Jensen like this. He shouldn’t be thinking about a guy like this at all. He pulls away from Katie flushed and panting. “I’m—uh—sorry. Maybe we should get back.”
Katie cheeks are stained pink and her eyes are shiny in the moonlight. “Nothing to be sorry about. I like you, JT.” She leans in and gives him a quick brush of lips before jumping up and holding out her hand to help him up. “Maybe tomorrow night, we’ll skip dessert and meet earlier.”
JT nods distractedly, “Yeah, sure, sounds good.”
***
That night, JT lies in darkness, thinking about what happened tonight. He saw his friend with a girl, no big deal. He kissed a cute girl, again no big deal. It is what is going on his head that worries him. He can’t stop picturing Jensen, can’t stop imagining what it would be like to kiss him, to touch him...and the fact that he’s lying in the warmth of his bed with a hard-on like he’s never had before makes his gut twist.
***
He sneaks off to breakfast early the next morning to avoid Jensen. He’s finishing up his waffles when Jensen slides in next to him. “Where were you this morning? I went to your room, but Mark said you’d already left.”
JT stares hard at his plate, mumbling about getting an early start this morning. He shoves the last of his breakfast down and stands before Jensen can speak again.
***
JT manages to avoid Jensen for the rest of the day. He eats with his team and when Jensen looks at him questioningly from across the dining hall, he shrugs his shoulders and turns to talk to Nate about afternoon practice.
It goes on like this for days, with JT always running and avoiding Jensen. He eats breakfast early, eats lunch and dinner with his team, and disappears with Katie after dinner. Every time he sees Jensen, he feels his guilt build. Jensen looks confused and a little sad, but JT pushes it aside because every night this week he’s woken up hard and panting with images of Jensen in his head.
Finally, Jensen corners JT after dinner on Thursday. Pushing him back into his room and slamming the door behind him. “What’s going on, man? You’ve been avoiding me all week.”
JT’s eyes wander the room, looking at everything except Jensen. “Nothing, I’ve just been busy.”
Jensen pushes off from the door, stepping into JT’s space. “Bullshit. You run every time you see me coming. Did I—did I do something? I mean, I thought we’d gotten pretty tight there. I thought we were friends.”
JT tries not to look at Jensen, tries not to hear the tinge of sadness in his voice.
Jensen says his name again, and it’s almost, almost, pleading.
JT finally meets Jensen's stare and he can’t look away. They stand there face to face in silence for a long moment. Then he breaks the stare and steps back. Jensen’s right, they are friends. Whatever this thing is in his head he’ll have to deal with, but he won't give Jensen up either.
He sighs and sits on the bed. “I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything. I’ve just—something’s going on with me and I’m trying to figure it out. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
He can feel Jensen’s eyes on him, watching him. He sits next to him on the bed. “Do you—uh, wanna talk about it?” Jensen runs his hand through his hair uncomfortably.
JT smiles and knocks his shoulder into Jensen’s. “No, I’ll figure it out, but thanks.”
They sit in silence for a moment until Jensen grabs his arm. “Come on, the movie tonight is Rudy.” Jensen marches ahead singing, “Cheer, cheer for ol’ Notre Dame. Wake up the echoes…”
***
They fall back into their routine of eating together and hanging out after practice. Except now JT finds himself looking at Jensen more; he notices how Jensen curls his lip when he doesn’t like something, how his lacrosse jersey rides up just a little when he runs and how his Adam’s apple bobs lightly when he swallows.
He knows Jensen can feel him staring, he catches the puzzled looks Jensen sends him, but sometimes he also catches Jensen watching him. JT notices Jensen staring when he talks to Katie, feels his gaze when he jogs to catch up after morning practice and he begins to wonder if the looking he’s doing is getting to be too obvious.
On Saturday, they skip dinner in the dining hall and go into town for burgers to celebrate JT’s birthday. There are a couple of guys from JT’s soccer team and Jensen’s lacrosse team and few girls they both know. They go to a movie after dinner and between all the joking and talking JT can’t even remember what the movie is about.
Afterwards, Jensen and JT are joking around so much, they miss when the rest of the group runs off to catch the last shuttle back to the camp. When they finally realize they're alone on the street, none of their friends in sight, JT panics a little, but it dissipates immediately when Jensen starts to laugh at him. “The look on your face! Dude, don’t worry. We’ll just walk back. It’ll take like twenty, thirty minutes.”
They begin to walk, in the late evening dusk. The sun is just about set, but the sky is still a deep ruby streaked with plum, and it lights their way enough along the road.
Jensen’s telling him about lacrosse, and how he thinks his team has a pretty good chance of winning the end of summer tournament when JT interrupts him. “I just want to say thanks.”
Jensen looks at him with a quirked eyebrow. “For what?”
JT shrugs and kicks a rock in the road. “For getting everyone together for my birthday, I thought I was gonna hate camp, being away from my friends, but so far this summer has been really great. I can’t believe it’s half over.”
Jensen’s stopped walking and JT stops, turns to see what he’s doing. When he meets Jensen’s stare, they fall into another of the awkward stare-downs they’ve been having all week, except this time it’s not awkward at all.
They both step forward, unconsciously. JT can’t tear his eyes away from Jensen. His green eyes are bright, his golden tan glows in the quickly fading light. JT watches as Jensen instinctively licks his lips, and before he even realizes what he’s doing, JT closes the space between them and is kissing Jensen.
JT expects to be on his ass, expects Jensen to hit him, yell at him, something. What he doesn’t expect is Jensen to kiss back. It’s a strange kiss, only touching at the lips, mouths connected, and tongues tasting. Their hands hang free at their sides until JT pulls away.
He quickly steps back, ducking his head, a bright rosy flush rushing over him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
JT tries to turn to run toward the camp, but Jensen’s hand shoots out and grabs his arm. The touch is almost as electric as the touch of their lips and JT is frozen.
Jensen’s grip is like iron. “Stop, don’t run away and don’t apologize. I’ve wanted to do that since the first day we met. I just didn’t think you were into it. I thought you’d found me out, saw me with Brian, when you started avoiding me.”
JT opens his mouth to question him, but Jensen is leaning in again, closing his lips over JT’s. Jensen pulls JT closer, sliding a hand around his back and slipping his tongue into his mouth.
They stay like that, touching, exploring, until JT can’t breathe. He pulls back panting, but he can’t pry his fingers away from Jensen’s skin. “Whoa, that was amazing.”
A huge grin spreads across Jensen’s face and he cuffs an arm around JT’s neck. “Come on, we need to get back before we miss curfew.”
They walk back, silly grins on both of their faces, knocking into each to keep in contact.
***
JT sleeps in the next morning and when he finally rises Mark is already gone. He lays in bed thinking about the night before. Kissing Jensen had been amazing, but JT doesn’t know what it meant. He likes Jensen, but he also likes Katie. JT has never thought of a guy in that way before. He doesn’t know if this makes him gay or bi or what.
He’s still lounging across his bed thinking about Jensen’s soft lips when there is a quiet knock on the door and Jensen is poking his head into the room. “Hey, can I come in?”
JT sits up and nods, motioning him in. Jensen sits tentatively on the edge of the bed, looking rather unsure of himself. “I guess we should talk about last night.”
JT blushes, still keeping silent.
Jensen runs a hand through his messy morning hair. “Look, I don’t want you to freak out. We—uh—kissed and we didn’t even talk about it.” He shifts nervously, trying to find the right words. “I’m—huh—I’m bi, I guess. I like girls, but I like guys too. I probably should have told you that from the start, but I didn’t know how you would react and then you started acting all weird two days after I’d hooked up with Brian and I thought you knew.” Jensen huffs out, “This is hard.”
JT reaches out and touches Jensen's arm. “I didn’t know, but you could have told me and I wouldn’t have cared. And you don’t need to worry about me freaking out. I’m not—well maybe I am a little, but not because of you. I’ve never—I’ve never kissed a guy before. I’ve never wanted to, but I saw you that night with Tara and couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Jensen tilts his head to the side. “You saw me with Tara?”
JT blushes deeper, realizing Jensen didn’t know about that. “The night before I started avoiding you, I saw you two out in the woods and after that I couldn’t get you out of my mind. That is why I was avoiding you. I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling.”
He inches closer, curling his fingers around Jensen’s. “I still don’t know what I’m feeling, but I know that I want to kiss you again.”
At that, Jensen looks up from where his gaze had been trained on his hands. JT leans in shyly at first, but then his mouth is covering Jensen’s and he can’t seem to remember what there is to be shy about.
Jensen slips a hand around the back of JT's neck dragging him closer. He groans as Jensen nips at his jaw and sucks lightly at the soft flesh of his throat. Jensen’s pushing JT back and they’re stretched out on his bed chest to chest, hip to hip. Jensen slides his thigh between JT’s legs and he gasps at the feeling of firm muscle pressed against his cock.
JT jerks his hips forward, unable to control his movements, and he feels Jensen’s erection pressing into his hip. He moans knowing that Jensen is hard because of him and his hips jerk once again.
Jensen’s licking down the column of JT’s throat and sucks hard enough to leave a mark in the hollow. JT’s panting from the sensation and his young body is twitching and trembling beyond his control. Jensen drops small kisses across his neck and then bites down on JT’s collarbone. He yelps and comes, grinding up against Jensen’s thigh.
He’s still clutching Jensen’s shoulders and he’s got his face buried in Jensen’s neck. Jensen tries to sit up, but JT grips him tighter unable to pull away to look at him yet. All he wants to do is roll over and hide his face in his pillow.
Jensen strokes at the soft peach fuzz on the back of JT’s head. “Hey—hey, it’s cool. Look, me too.”
JT finally lets Jensen pull back and sees the wet spot on Jensen’s track pants. He grins with flushed cheeks and a happy sigh.
***
Part Two
